Slowing Down with Samantha Demarkles

Cultivating Conversations: Journey to motherhood, solitude of nature, the art of simplicity, carrying rituals while traveling, and nurturing ourselves with food.

Welcome to Cultivating Conversations, a weekly series where we dive deep into the stories that shape our community. Join us for raw conversations with the people who inspire us most.

Today, we are chatting with Samantha Demarkles (@samanthainperson) — creator, mother, and lover of simple recipes.

Lay the land and share your story. Who are you?

I caught myself last night pouring milk for my children lined up in a row, it was the perfect moment. Three rambunctious boys eating pasta and fruit and veggies. Mom in the kitchen tidying and nibbling and encouraging good manners. We had had a good day, and it wasn’t over yet. I was looking forward to bedtime although recent nights have been difficult. I felt immediate thankfulness for imperfection… for every ounce of discomfort, to land me at this table, pouring milk. I thought for a long time I enjoyed the busyness of socializing, glamour, plans… getting high on red wine. But, I have found my truth lies in sobriety, the blending of family, solitude of nature… wearing a chunky wool sweater, washing enamelware by hand. Raising children, and deeply loving the closeness of those I share a roof with.

How did you begin cooking and creating?

I started (low-key) cooking after Isaac was born, although I had always observed my mother, a natural baker and stay-at-home mom... my slim college grocery budget and loyalty to alcohol did not allow for much time or creativity for cuisine. Since I was nursing, I held zero desire to consume anything bad for me. I went completely plant based right away… and then over the years, have fine tuned what works for my body. While I always aim to make food as pure as possible, I am now extremely fascinated by seasonal ingredients, and learning real culinary processes.

How has cooking contributed to your creativity, motherhood, and slow living practice?

Because I was at home with Isaac, cooking and photographing my food took off as a creative outlet, which then became income. The work is a selective and rewarding process… along the way I have discovered and gravitated towards brands, families, and people who either expose me to, or are also aligned with what I value and appreciate. Less, simple, kind, good, overall encompasses what I like to eat, wear, etc…

What’s your process for discovering new recipes?

Lately, I have been most inspired by books and photos. Everything I see online looks delicious and sometimes gives me ideas for meals or treats, but it is a noisy place for inspiration… Mostly, I’ll see something and come up with a wacky idea, and Matt will critique it. Or, he’s like “Sammy, we’re doing our own spin on this.” And shows me a painting-worthy photo of some European dish. And so we do that. My favorite meals / plates are when we are both starving and quickly list off all the items we want… his expertise in flavor and years of cooking, met with my excitement to make it.

How do you source your ingredients?

For now, I source the basics from any regular grocery store - I especially love supporting our small little market in town… where I do buy local farm milk, and meat occasionally at another shop nearby. For seasonal produce, there are great farmer’s market options in St. Louis, so I make a list and stock up when we’re there. As for bread - I’m about to venture into sourdough but have been baking a no knead loaf (linked below) every other day. I haven’t bought bread in over a month, and that feels really good.

Do you consider cooking at home a form of self-care?

Cooking at home is absolutely self care. I think if you practice it enough and learn to enjoy how much better your body feels when opting out of packaged foods or eating out, you become addicted to being in charge of feeding yourself. It doesn’t have to be fancy, it just has to be nourishing in four ways (I think): temperature, flavor, health, pleasure. Also, I’ve been thinking about the hard work it takes to keep everything moving - home, kids, family, jobs, travels, visits… life is difficult and we outgrow schooling etc… reading and adopting new skills is the only thing worth doing in your free time… as you get older, you understand this and appreciate the quiet needed to be present for it. I think it’s a beautiful self transformation, and counts as individual nurture. 

How do you balance and prioritize creating nourishing meals and creating beautiful images to hold onto?

I’m terrible at balancing anything… but I’ve learned lately, the secret to reaching nearly any goal, is to not overthink the process. I always want to take pictures, and for everything to be an art piece. I have to work hard at resisting perfectionism (a recent discovery) in this way… and focus on what’s achievable in the moment! Actually, that’s when the real beauty unfolds. Especially with my new baking addiction… it’s all trial and eagerness. Sometimes, my prettiest (and most comforting!) plates are made in minutes and escape the camera… it’s okay… so if it feels natural to recreate/elevate and document the next time, I’ll do just that.

When traveling, how do you continue your slow living rituals?

My slow living rituals during travel have evolved drastically and happily in the last few years… I used to be overly rigid in following my home routine, only to leave me skipping out on, or depriving myself of the special experiences in front of me… I realize now this was all about control, because my life at the time was so destabilizing. While I will not claim to have had an eating disorder, I will say that my relationship with consuming anything, has not been healthy, for a relatively healthy person. I suppose I can say I have overcome some of this… any opportunity for retreat or trek, now treated like so… sleeping in, skipping my walks, enjoying a pastry for breakfast at my favorite bakery, and an ice cream cone for lunch…because I love ice cream! We hear the word “ritual” and force ourselves to obey it no matter what. But I believe we can customize… if you are making choices that are maybe a little indulgent, but not harmful, it’s okay. Have your sweets for breakfast, and follow with meats and veggies for dinner. Be careful not to give anything too much power. Count each and every encounter as if you are five: with excitement, not fright. Life is too serious everywhere else.

Since living on a farm and having the boys, what are your favorite ways to slow down these days? 

On the days when our time does not revolve around the ridiculously demanding schedule of sports… we play outside until it gets dark. We drive down to the river and watch fishing boats come in. We paint in the driveway and watch the moon on the roof. I take them into town for an impromptu burger and ice cream (round trip costing us $24 for all)… simple is best. They will live a whole life of structure, overstimulation, rushing. I will choose innocence, and the settling and stillness of family for as long as I can.

What are your favorite 3 meals you’ve created or make over and over again?

This salad!
These blondies!
This bread!

What are you daydreaming of right now?

Daydreaming of animals! Barn cats first, bees, chickens, and I have always loved horses.

What’s on your Beyond the Haus wishlist?

Bamboo Cutlery Set
Manuka Honey Face Mask
Cotton Produce Saver
Bamboo Hair Brush
Cold-Pressed Body Oil

Shop Sam’s Favorites here.

Thanks for reading, see you next time!
Keep it slow.